Our Vancouver Divorce Lawyers know that separation and divorce often includes unexpected financial and emotional stress. You may find yourself acting out of emotions. In hindsight had you fully considered your behaviour, you may have done things differently. When you are together, your partner is probably more forgiving. When you separate, she or he is likely putting you under a microscope and finding blames and faults in every single thing you do. So, expecting your ex to forgive is probably not an option.

At Nasser Allan LLP, our Vancouver Divorce lawyers, our Divorce lawyers know the law and will guide through each step of the way to take the stress out of your separation. We want you to divorce with confidence. 

In this post, we provide you with 5 things that you should not do if you are separating or are in the process of getting a divorce. We hope that if you follow our Divorce Not-Tos Checklist , you save yourself some legal fees while reducing your emotional stress.

Table of Contents

1. If it is not urgent, do not respond right away
When you receive an email or text from your ex, you may feel compelled to respond to it right away. Rash responses often have an emotional element to them. Our Vancouver Divorce Lawyer, Nassim Nasser, suggest to draft your response, leave it for a while and return to it and re-read your response. Often times, you end up either revising your message or not sending it all together. Keep in mind the goal is to reduce conflict and not to add fuel to the fire or cause more drama.
2. If you and your ex do not get along, do not engage in verbal discussions or arguments
A lot of court time, is often consumed by he said/she said and to ascertain whose version of the events is true. To avoid running into he said/she said scenarios, our Vancouver Divorce Lawyers recommend to keep your conversation in writing. Email is preferred over text message. Our Vancouver divorce lawyers have come across numerous situation where people either lose their cell phones or break their phones and they no longer have access to their text messages.

Our Vancouver Divorce Lawyers also suggest using a parenting application such as Our Family Wizard to communicate with your ex.


3. Do not put your child(ren) in the middle
You should never put your children in the middle of the conflict or use them as leverage against the other parent. When dealing with parenting arrangements, the only consideration is the best interests of your children, says our Vancouver Divorce Lawyer, Nassim Nasser. You should not use the children as messengers between you or your spouse, they should not negotiate on your behalf, and you should not grill them after they have spend time with your ex. Judges do not appreciate when children are put in the middle and this could impact your negatively.
4. Do not disparage your ex
Disparaging or disrespecting your ex only creates conflict and does not assist you in moving forward. The goal is to reduce the drama and conflict. Judges also would not appreciate when they see you disrespect or disparage your ex, say our Vancouver Divorce Lawyer.
5. Do not be difficult for the sake of being difficult
If there is a possibility of reaching an agreement, try to reach an agreement as opposed paying legal fees to go to court and litigate your case. Litigation is stressful and expensive. It is always best if you and your ex can reach an agreement about your children or your finances as opposed to having a judge make that determination for you.
Nasser Allan LLP is a divorce and family law firm located in Vancouver, BC. Our lawyer word hand in hand with their clients and assist them to reach resolution to their divorce, either through court or settlement. Our Vancouver Divorce lawyers goal is to take the stress out of your divorce. We want you to divorce with confidence. Contact us to book an appointment.

Nasser Allan LLP COVID-19 Protocols

Our firm is fully operational and ready to assist with the resolution of all the family issues. We understand that legal services are essential and family matters cannot be placed “on hold.” We now conduct mediation sessions via teleconference or Zoom. Court hearing are mostly conducted over the phone or video with trials requiring in person attendance.

We are open from 9 am to 6:30 pm Monday to Friday and are available after hours and weekends by appointment.

Our family lawyers are available to discuss your matter over the phone, via video conferencing or email in line with the health protocols.

We are also available to meet with you in person by appointment. We will follow all public safety measures. At this time, we kindly ask that you wear a mask during your in person meetings with our family lawyers.

Nasser Allan LLP is here for you at this critical time!

Contact us to move your family matter forward.

Telephone: 604-620-8682

Email: [email protected]